Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Random musings

-If men were left to rule the world, there’d be no one left to rule the world.

-The only medium that can encompass the terrific depth and breadth of life is the experience of, and participation in, life itself. There is no substitute for living out loud.

-A true artist has the ability to actually become something or someone else, to rise up to a level of KNOWING the object or subject of one's art, to where one has the ability and willingness to embracively BE it. It's a higher level of grokking something than "merely" understanding it. I think this is true for any medium a true artist excels in, whether it's writing, music, painting, etc. Your thoughts?

"Daddy Gio, I want my mommy". "Why?" "Because I like her". (5/18/10)

My 2 year-old's GI tract never ceases to amaze me. (5/17/10)

Definition of Purgatory: sitting in front of a blank computer screen, waiting for the page to load. (5/17/10)

If you need some ideas for fixing a nagging problem, watch a few Road Runner reruns. The Road Runner just cheerfully turns whatever is aimed at him back at his aggressor. It's so zen. (5/17/10)

It's hard not to become a racist after visiting Walmart. Every time I go, I become super prejudiced against white people. (5/17/10)

When I was 5, there was a kid in my neighborhood named Carl Gunderson whom I did not like because he was dirty and his buttcrack hung out over his brown Toughskin jeans. So I devised a plan to rid myself of my enemy: Being that he was a dirty boy, it was only logical that he would like dirty things. So I made a brew of mud and sticks and bigs inside a pail and put the pail in the middle of my back yard.
The plan was, Carl would come lumbering through my yard on his way back from school, see the pail with yucky stuff in it, say "yum yum" and drink it all. Then he'd die. The logic was impeccable and the plan seemed absolutely flawless. When it didn't happen exactly like that, I couldn't believe it.

Carl survived. He never even walked through my back yard as planned. I was so taken aback that my perfect plan had been foiled, I'm still in a bit of a slump over it. What's odd about this incident is it totally stuck me in this utter disbelief when it didn't pan out exactly as I had planned it. I'm still obviously not over it. (5/16/10)

Just yelled at my kids because it's obvious they can't hear my "indoor voice". (5/16/10)

Hard Rock Cafe my ass. More like Fat F#@% Cafe. I don't get it. Made me want to become an expat postehaste. (5/15/10)

Drove "all" the way to Tampa Whole Foods to buy my favorite soap in the world. Realized at the cashier that I'd forgotten my wallet and only had $15 in cash. Unloaded the entire cart --
"just the soap, please". The soap came to around $23 -- for a few slices, mind you. I left the store $9 poorer with 2 slivers of the pr...ecious stuff and with my tail between my legs. Retail therapy backfired. (5/14/10)

My daughter proudly informed me this morning that she "got out the big fish!". I went upstairs to investigate and said fish was flopping around on the dining room table next to a spoon, clearly not enjoying himself. Inside the aquarium were a salt shaker, a suction cup and two rubber duckies. I rearranged a few things ...and am happy to report that the "big fish" seems to have survived his little adventure quite well. (5/13/10)

I feel like a human blotation device. (5/12/10)

I don't beg to differ. I'll just differ. Differing away after a busy busy day (5/11/10)

Survey question for Italians: is my fiancee the only Italian guy who hides a few pounds of imported Parmesan cheese in his desk, or is this some common Italian thing? (5/11/10)

"Mommy, are you and Daddy Gio getting married?" "Yes". "Oh. But mommy, I want to marry you". (5/10/10)

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