"If You Can't Be A Good Example, Then You'll Just Have To Serve As A Horrible Warning":
Chapter 1: If You're Going To Hitchhike 3000 Miles From NYC To California, Don't Do It In The Dead Of Winter
Chapter 2: When He Says "I Love You" While Pounding Your Head Into The Pavement, Chances Are He's Lying
Chapter 3: It's Actually Poor Form To Buy Live Maine Lobsters And 100 Pounds of Easter Candy With Food Stamps
Chapter 4: If You Want Someone To Look After You In Your Dotage, Don't Boil Your Child's Pet Turtles, Even If It Is An Accident
Chapter 5: If You Must Suffer Through The Heartbreak Of A Painful Divorce, Make Damn Sure You Were Actually Legally Married In The First Place
Chapter 6: Don't Get Pregnant While Having Phone Sex
Chapter 7: Avoid Giving Your Life Savings To Total Strangers
Chapter 8: If He's Fat and Ugly and Smells Bad and Lies, Chance Are He Wasn't Meant For You Anyways
Chapter 9: Don't Buy A Rolex When You're Broke, Unemployed, A Single Parent, And You Gave Your Life Savings To Total Strangers
Chapter 10: Accidents Happen, But Spilling Nacho Cheese Sauce All Over Your Prada Purse Is Downright Portentous
#10 is my favorite, but they're all great.
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud on #3 and was thoroughly entertained all the way through. Thanks for sharing!
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